Funeral

I've been yearning to write to you 

But constantly my ink was running dry

I can't say I haven't run out of words  a couple times when I thought of you

But I won't deny the fact that you have colonised my sub conscious mind.

I love you so much

That I had to buy flowers and mourn you 

It hurts to comprehend the fact that

I hosted a funeral for a man who is still alive.

But I had to bury our memories 

They were no longer worth keeping 

It was time to move on coz

Each one of them brought pain that pierced through my fragile heart

 Everytime someone uttered your name

Mom was so strong she kept buying birthday gifts in your name

I was hurt the day I realized that you were long gone 

And all the letters were written by mom but I'm grateful it showed me reality.

I faced all the stages of grief 

And finally I've reached the 5th stage 

And I'm ready to say goodbye

Rumor has it your body still resides in the neighboring country 

But I have made peace with your absence and termed it death 

My lil sis still has hope

But in my world ghosts have no second chances

Till you rest I will keep on watering these flowers 

A reminder that you're the living dad(dead)  .